I asked the association's head, Kunio Kitamura, why. More than a quarter of men feel the same way. The country is undergoing major social transition after 20 years of economic stagnation. Of the estimated 13 million unmarried people in Japan who currently live with their parents, around three million are over the age of Kunio Kitamura, head of the JFPA, claims the demographic crisis is so serious that Japan "might eventually perish into extinction".
Emi Kuwahata, 23, and her friend, Eri Asada, 22, meet me in the shopping district of Shibuya. It could be a long-term state of affairs. For Japanese women today, marriage is the grave of their hard-won careers. Satoru Kishino, 31, belongs to a large tribe of men under 40 who are engaging in a kind of passive rebellion against traditional Japanese masculinity. Nor is growing preoccupation with digital technology. This was also the year, as the number of elderly people shoots up, that adult incontinence pants outsold baby nappies in Japan for the first time. Whipping up fear in people, she says, doesn't help anyone. They don't believe it can lead anywhere," says Aoyama. He defines it as "a heterosexual man for whom relationships and sex are unimportant". But he does like cooking and cycling, and platonic friendships. She accepts that technology will shape the future, but says society must ensure it doesn't take over. She berates the government for "making it hard for single people to live however they want" and for "whipping up fear about the falling birth rate". Japan's punishing corporate world makes it almost impossible for women to combine a career and family, while children are unaffordable unless both parents work. Social attitudes don't help. According to the government's population institute, women in their early 20s today have a one-in-four chance of never marrying. Japanese-American author Roland Kelts , who writes about Japan's youth, says it's inevitable that the future of Japanese relationships will be largely technology driven. They are rejecting the pursuit of both career and romantic success. Aversion to marriage and intimacy in modern life is not unique to Japan. I asked the association's head, Kunio Kitamura, why. The country is undergoing major social transition after 20 years of economic stagnation. Aoyama's first task with most of her clients is encouraging them "to stop apologising for their own physical existence". Kishino says he doesn't mind the label because it's become so commonplace. Some experts believe the flight from marriage is not merely a rejection of outdated norms and gender roles. I don't even like holding hands. The sense of crushing obligation affects men just as much. And that's from a woman who knows a bit about whipping.
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